The Mindset of the Chronic Pain Sufferer

When it comes to treating chronic pain suffer, I have a lot to say. If I could impart one and only one thing to my industry, I would want an understanding of the mindset of the Chronic pain Sufferer (CPS). I cannot fit this subject into one article. It will exist in a blog series.

A Shared Chronic Pain Experience

I am not citing a textbook nor referring to some study. I speak not just from the experiences my clients have shared but my own experience as a former sufferer. I have learned that behaviors I had experienced seem to be common to CPS’s. I am blessed that my pain patterns were issues that were resolvable, and crippling constant pain is no longer my normal experience. I do remember a time when I did not know this, and I wondered if life would be like this forever.

There are many things a practitioner should understand about the chronic pain sufferer. My observation is that the clients with the most horrifying experiences are the best at hiding it. They also seem to be, without exception, the people with the most positive outlooks on life.

From my own experience with chronic pain, I have . . .

Hidden it
Tuned it Out
Disassociated from it
Quietly Endured it
Medicated

Chronic Pain Doesn’t Need To Be Your New Normal

There are many shared experiences amongst those who experience chronic pain – combined with a resistance to explaining the severity of it. This might frustrate the practitioner, but I remind you to consider who you are here for. Imagine, if you will, that you have a pain that feels as if you have been kicked in the stomach every time you take a step forward. You are used to this. This has been true for you for nine years. Doctors have had no answers; they have told you you’re imagining it, they’ve shown you X-rays and told you nothing’s wrong. After years of trying, you yourself have given up and you’ve already accepted that this is the new normal and it will be like this forever . . .

Now, along I come …

“How are you doing today?” I ask. What good is it to answer me truthfully? “It feels like I’m being perpetually kicked in the midsection.”

I have never heard of this, and my immediate reaction is to panic, get concerned, offer help. I will ask if you need anything, I will ask if you want a ride to the emergency room. (I confess I did once answer the question ‘how is your pain today?’ with an ever-so-tude ‘it was great until you reminded me of it.”) now that you have told me about your pain, I am hysterical. On top of your issue, whatever it is, you now find yourself trying to calm me down and getting me to forget you said anything.

Or …

Now, along I come (random doctor/therapist). How are you doing today?” I ask. What good is it to answer truthfully? “It feels like I’m being perpetually kicked in the midsection.”

I have never heard of this, and my immediate reaction is to panic, get concerned, offer help. I will ask if you need anything; I will ask if you want a ride to the emergency room. (I myself  once answered the question ‘how is your pain today?’ with an ever-so-tude ‘it was great until you reminded me of it.”).  Now that you have told said therapist about your pain, they get hysterical. Now, on top of your issue, whatever it is, you find yourself trying to calm him or her down and getting them to forget you said anything.

The Art of Describing Your Chronic Pain

The art is to describe the severity enough that you get taken seriously, but not too much that you ‘get intimidated’. I have already learned that more is better but that nothing to date has been enough. If I over-dramatize my pain level, practitioners get ‘intimidated’ and decide that I am somehow fragile. This is literally my ‘elevator pitch’. When I suspect I am dealing with a pain sufferer, I describe this. “I have found that pain has affected my judgment, rather than deciding you are ‘breakable’ and going light on you for the concern of ‘hurting you’ (once again, a practitioner is self-focused in this decision.) I recognize that ‘hurt’ is your default state. I’m not going to do anything crazy, but I understand that if you walk away from my table ‘hurt’ it won’t be because I ‘did something wrong’ but because “I did not do enough’. I personally am reminded of this. A practitioner will find the spot on me that has tortured me forever, but rather than release the tissue to completion, they follow some rule and move on usually in less than a minute. I’m silently rooting for the practitioner and praying that they win. When they ‘give up’ and never return to the spot, I am disheartened all over. I remember this when I have found such a spot in my clients’ tissues.

Bottom line, chronic pain practitioners were taught that it’s wrong to stick to a spot for too long, that the spot is ‘not ready’ or we will ‘cause injury’. I swear to you, endless suffering happens as a result of this false, and lazy rule.

If you’re a chronic pain sufferer, book an appointment today at my San Diego office. –Life Is Too Short For Pain.